The Beginning of an End

The Beginning of an End

And it’s all gonna vanish

The way we first met,
As our eyes gleamed and connected across the classroom.
The way we said hello
Never knowing if it was the beginning of something real.
The way we laughed
At something we never knew we had a mutual liking for.
And the way we cried
When something hurt each one of us, that wasn’t even a big deal. 

The way we loved
Sometimes like matchsticks, burning with extreme intensity.
And sometimes we loved
Like the stillness of the wind on a clear night.
The way we got broken
Shattering our hearts into pieces innumerable.
And the way we helped
Healing each other as we put the pieces back together, in the places right.

The way we fought
Hiding the pain we felt in letting each other go.
And the way we stayed
When we realized that it was us against the world.
The way we got lost
Trying to figure ourselves out in this huge mess called life.
And the way we found ourselves
Learning to love each other, while lying on the sofa, curled.

The way we danced
Trying to learn and copy the steps, wishing we were pros.
And the way we stumbled
And launched into a fit of laughter when we figured out it just wasn’t for us.
The way we fell
Just hoping that we wouldn’t crash on the cold concrete floor. 
And the way we got up
With the help of a friend in this world, glad we didn’t bite the dust.

All is going to vanish
As we turn to step out,
Out into the real world
Away from each other. 

Trying to find ourselves again
Hoping to figure life out,
Wishing we would find someone
Just like we did then.

And we would find a new beginning,
A beginning to a new end.

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Magic.

Magic.

Magic is all around us. All we need to do is believe in it.

It is in the speck of light that marks the beginning of dawn.
In the beautiful crimson of the sky as the sun goes down and stars come out.
It is in the way the moon shines and kisses every being.
Even in the moonless nights, when the stars guide you home.

Magic is in the sound of the waves lashing at the shore, calming you down at once.
It is in the blowing wind as it gushes past you, singing the song of life.
In the tiny tear droplet rolling down the cheeks, to kiss the lips that turn to smile.
It is in the stillness of the moment you hold your breath, waiting for a wish to come true.

In this world full of negativity and darkness, we have forgotten to believe in the power of magic. We have forgotten what it feels like to be happy, optimistic. We have forgotten what it is like to live, let alone love.

We have engrossed ourselves in a world where sadness and heartbreak rule. Where no one wants to listen to a happy story, just because it sounds unreal. Where ‘tragic’ is the new ‘romance’. Where you’re termed ‘high’ because you are happy, since we have stopped believing that someone could genuinely be full of joy.

We have started looking for unnecessary troubles and pain to go through, finding problems in places it doesn’t exist, and just knowingly bumping into things and people who make us unhappy. All because we have started believing that this is how the world is supposed to treat us, and us, the world.

We have lost contact with our inner child, the one who used to be fearless, and all it knew was to smile and be happy, who knew only to get up after a fall and laugh it off, because life isn’t meant to be taken that seriously.

We love things that make us cry, and in doing so, we forget to cherish those moments that make us happy.

We need to remember that the power of believing is supreme. We can move mountains, only if we choose to believe so. We can conquer all heights and vanquish our fears, should we believe we can.

We need to start appreciating the magic that surrounds us, start being grateful of the life we are being able to lead. We need to understand that we deserve to be happy, and no matter what happens, our happiness is the one thing that we should not let go of.

Magic is in the smile, the laugh,
The tear, the cry,
In the sun, the moon,
And the clouds in the sky.

It is in the life you live,
And the moment you die.
In the beginning of ‘hello’,
And at the end of ‘goodbye’.

All I’m asking is,
Believe, and allow the magic to engulf you. Miracles will follow.

Lessons from 2016

Lessons from 2016

What do you get when you put a lot of deaths, bad incidents, and heartbreaks together?
2016.

And what do you have at the end of 2016?
Lessons and memories.

Here are a few things I learnt from 2016.

Bad things happen, and are always going to happen. What matters really is how you find good in all of that. How you find the tiny sliver of light in that ocean of darkness, what you learn from it, and how you move forward.

Often, you will find yourself stuck in places that seem to have no escape, but as cliché as it might sound, when one door closes, another opens. The only problem is finding the open door. Don’t worry, take a deep breath. Everything will work itself out, just give it time.

You’ll make a lot of friends. Some of them may ignore you, some may leave you stranded, and some might even stab you in the back. The world is full of these kinds of people. But, the silver lining is, there will always be some people, who will stand by you through thick and thin, who will catch you when you are about to fall, and who will stick to every single promise they have ever made. Yes, they do exist.
Your job is to find them, and keep them.

You will fall in love. You will also fall out of love. Sometimes you might break some hearts, and other times, you might get your heart-broken. but don’t let all of this to throw you off the track, don’t let it dampen your love. Fall in love a little more often and a little more deeply. Wear your heart on your sleeve. It is okay if your heart breaks. You’re stronger than that!

You are the one who will always be there for yourself, no one else is gonna do that for you. Each and every time you shatter, muster every bit of strength that you have, and pick up all the pieces and start putting yourself together.

You are the one who knows what you are worth, and you decide how you deserve to be treated. People are going to treat you the way you allow them to, it is up to you to let them know what you deserve. Start being selfish and stand up for yourself and your feelings. You are not deserving of a treatment that is less than your worth.

Take a week off and spend it with your family, without any distractions. You will feel relaxed, and more connected with yourself. Switch off all your mobile phones, or go somewhere without network, and just relax. You need that every now and then, amidst the pandemonium in this world, in order to calm yourself down.

Appreciate what you have a little more. Say hello to people you always see but never pay attention to, like the watchmen, or shopkeepers, or any other person who has always been there but you haven’t bothered to look at. Smile at strangers, you never know when you might find a friend in someone.

Do not forget to make loads of memories. They are what will always be constant, even when everything else has changed. Live in every moment, take it all in. You never know how long it will last.

People change, more often than not. Stop caring about people who treat you like crap. They are just miserable in their own lives and feel the need to make others feel dejected. You cannot control their actions. What you can control is your emotions. Let them go and move on. Life is harder when you keep holding on to something that hurts.

Do not dull your sparkle, ever. It is not your problem that you shine brighter than the others. Do not let others make you believe that you should not shine that bright, or you should hold yourself back, just so that you do not outshine them. It’s your life, and you do not need that kind of negativity in your life.

Always stay a humble person, an affectionate soul.

To The One Who Got Away

Hey you!

Yes, you! It’s you that I’m writing about, months later than I should have been. I’ve moved on. I am finally happy and comfortable with what I have right now and I’m not craving for more, of anything, of you.

You might not know this, and you still might not want to know this, but I was stuck. For quite a long time.

I was, what people call, a “fool” who rushed in, way too soon, with all that she had. I felt used, stupid, foolish. I mean really, who does that? Wait around for something or someone, who they know, deep in their hearts, is never coming back? Fools.

And now that I’ve been a so-called fool, I realize, I am not. I’m just a person who does not know how to put boundaries and limits on the love she has for someone.

I’m hopeless. A hopeless romantic. And maybe, you weren’t hopeless enough to handle my hopelessness. And that’s okay!

This is not a write-up about the guy who shattered my heart into pieces. This is about what a good person he was, just not the right one for me.

What we had was special, at least for me. I’d wait around the whole day just for those long night walks. I loved your song collection. I loved how you always liked the songs with a story behind them. I loved the way your hair fell over your chocolate-brown eyes sometimes, the way your smile reached your eyes, the way your deep rumbling laugh echoed in my head long after you had gone. I loved how your hand felt in mine, how your hugs sent warmth over my whole body, how your touch felt like fireworks. I loved how it never felt awkward with you, how I could always be myself with you, how I wasn’t afraid when I was with you. I loved how your presence calmed me down and made me feel at home.

And then, you left. Slowly, yet all at once. I couldn’t figure out what happened, but I didn’t have it in me to ask you. I know this might sound stupid, but that’s how I am. I have difficulty in asking people why they left, and have difficulty letting them go too. So being the kind of person I am, I held on. For way too long, I kept holding on to that rope that once connected me with you, even after it hurt my hands. Since you never told me that you have left, I kept hoping you were coming back. I ignored all the advice and warnings from my friends and kept on wishing on that little shooting star.

Time passed. Months later, I started healing. As I always do. It took me quite a long time this time, but knowing that you were happy in your life which didn’t include me, I started being happy in my own. I started appreciating myself more, I started making peace with people around me more, and most importantly, I made peace with myself.

This is not a write-up blaming you for anything. This is to thank you, for being a great teacher of a life lesson, for I now know what I want. I know what I wouldn’t settle for, thanks to you. You were one of the best things to happen to me, and now, because of you, I know there exists better. I do not hate love, nor have I put up boundaries or walls around my heart. I will still love with all my heart.

You will always be a friend to me. No matter how much my friends tell me it would hurt, it won’t. I have made peace with you, my past, and myself. I’m happy now. Thank you!

Letter to the Best Friend

Letter to the Best Friend

Hey best friend.

It’s been way too long since I have met you. And yes, I know, the physical distance between us doesn’t really matter, as we’ve grown up this way, but I don’t think I have ever missed you this much.

Everything is just going downhill. And no matter how upbeat and positive I try to keep myself, being the micawber that I am, I’m not sure I’m really happy.

There are so many things that I have no idea how to deal with. I know we share everything, but this just feels like too much burden to put on you, when I know that you’ve got hundreds of problems of your own. Problems that are way too serious than mine. How could I ever let you know that the person you’ve always looked to for strength, is losing her own. How could I let you know that the person you think so highly of, is losing herself.

I don’t want you to know that. I still want to be the person who you think I am. This world is too incomprehensible for me. I don’t understand how it works. All I understand is that it constantly pushes me and pulls me down, simultaneously, and day by day, it’s getting harder to rise above all of it. I don’t wanna have a meltdown, and I don’t wanna give up. But it looks like I’ll have to.

I won’t tell this to anyone, and I know if I tell you, you’ll be there for me in a heartbeat, but I don’t want you to do that. I don’t want you to see me being so vulnerable. I promise I’ll be back to normal in no time. This thing that I have going on in my brain is too depressing, and I don’t like it. I wanna rise above it all. I wanna let go of everything that is hurting me, let go of everyone who has taken me for granted. I couldn’t do it before, but I think I finally can.

I did not have the courage to tell this to you to your face, but I hope you’ll forgive me for that. I know you will, because I know that no matter who leaves, you won’t. I’m gonna get over this because of you, and for that, I can’t thank you enough.

I love you.

Why So Serious?

Why So Serious?

The wind, rustling through the lush green trees,
The fragrance of the early morning cool breeze.
At a distance, the chirping birds,
Magic, that can be found, within the words.
The smell of the pages of a new book,
At strange places, a homely nook.
The way the sun rises, shines and sets,
Going through one’s old video cassettes.
The feeling of raindrops on your face,
Travelling on your own, to a far off place.
The butterflies dancing from flower to flower,
The feeling, when your favourite food, you devour.
Getting a smile from a stranger,
The last moment goal, the game changer.
The ringing sound of laughter,
Obtaining something, that you were after.
Dancing around, having fun,
The comforting smile, of a loved one.

So many beautiful things to love, so much to see.
Then why all serious, should you be?

Our world, it is full of so many surprises, so many beautiful things that we fail to notice due to the daily chaos in our heads. We have started focussing and paying attention to everything that is wrong with our world, while forgetting everything that is right with it.

We have forgotten what humour is, what love is, and how to open ourselves up. All we have started wishing for is seclusion, solitude, secrecy, and concealment, but the most important thing we are forgetting is, to live. Live our lives to the fullest, surrounded with the people who love us, care for us, and will always stand by us.

Laughter and love are the most powerful tools in the world that bring people closer. And maybe that is why, we have stopped laughing and put on our poker faces, maybe that is why we have closed our hearts to love and put up walls around it. We have done all of this just to make sure that no one can come close to us. We have become so afraid of getting hurt, that we have failed to open ourselves up to even the slightest possibility of being happy.

We have lost ourselves in the rat race and have forgotten what its like to live in the moment. All we do is worry about the future. A future that is so uncertain, that no one even knows whether there will be one.

We have surrounded ourselves with negativity. Social media, print media, news channels, everyone and everything is highlighting all the negativity. Our lives have become so accustomed to it that even the mere thought of something happy, something positive, is revolting.

It is time for us to stop for a while and relax. Take a break from our busy lives and look. Focus on everything that beautifully exists in our world, everything that is good around us. It is time to start spending time with the people we genuinely care about. We need to stop criticising everything and judging everyone.

Let us all laugh a little more, let us admire the beauty we are surrounded with. Let us not be afraid of getting hurt, and let us open ourselves to love. It is time for us to start living in the present rather than thinking about the past,or worrying about the future.

We need to take a step back from our lives that we’re living in utter pandemonium, and ask ourselves,

“Why so serious?”

Abditory

Abditory

“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic.”

These words, written by J.K.Rowling, and spoken by Professor Albus Dumbledore, are the basis for the username that I chose for myself. These words, they depict the truth in its entirety. They are, as he said, “capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it“, conveying the strength of the words.

Especially in the technologically advanced era that we live in, words have become of utmost importance as it is easier for them to cross a million barriers and give voice to what cannot be uttered out loud.

Why start a blog?

Writing has become my therapy. It has been there with me in times of utter distress, as well as in times of complete happiness. There has never been a time when words have failed me. Instead, they lift me up. They are all that I have in times of euphoria, in times of monotony, and in times of anguish. They assist and motivate me to fight the constant pressure that is thrust upon me, and help me in giving an outlet to all my feelings.

I write about the things that I am afraid of giving voice to. The thoughts that wander aimlessly in my head, find their destination on a piece of paper. Everything that goes on in my life, that I feel and am terrified of admitting out loud, even to myself, flow out from my heart and onto a paper (and well, in this case, on a blog).

In writing, I find joy, I find solace. I feel at home when I write. It is the place that I run to when I’m done with the world as it is.

Writing is my abditory. ❤